Sunday, January 1, 2012

Naked bums and hybrid diseases.

Finally! Something to write about. I will spare you guys my witty intro banter and get right to the meat......i walked in on a naked bum sleeping on a couch.
So many questions right? Your heads must be reeling....When did you get a couch? How did the bum get in there? Why was he naked? Is nickel heavier than copper? What did you do?
Relax, all of these questions and more will be answered. So, Heather and I had been switching off house-sitting at the HUB while the owners were in the United States. This means we had to check-in guests, help orient them to the city, clean up a little bit, etc. (some of you may not know what the HUB is, house church on Sundays and ex-pat hostal) So, i was on duty one night. I had been working late in my site installing filters so i didn't arrive until around 9 pm. I unlock the 3 separate locks, open the door, set my stuff down on the table and take a look around and i saw this large shape on the couch. I took a closer look, because the room was really dark and i thought it might be their dog. As i get closer i realize thats a human being, naked, curled up in the fetal position......what? Chills rock my body. I don't know if this joker is dead or alive. How on earth did he get in? and why is he naked? I grab my stuff and walk slowly out the door and close it softly (because i don't want to wake him?) I was quite terrified to be honest, so i called Heather and she called one of her friends in the area to help me out. I meet up with the guy and we call the police. By this time a lot of neighbors are outside their homes because we have been conversing with the bum. He has woken up and wont let us in the house. Every time we unlock the doors he locks them from the inside. He claims he is presidential candidate Danilo and this is his house. It is obvious that he is out of his mind. Ten minutes go by and 12 police offers are banging on the door threatening to break it down. Im just thinking to myself, is this really happening? What a ridiculous situation. Anyways, the guy opens the door a crack and some officers force themselves in and force the guy in a corner. The whole lot of people spills into the house to watch the show. As we all pour in everyone is smacked in the face by a terrible oder....the bum pooped and peed on the couch. Yea....this is real. The police tell me to give him some shorts. I don't have any clothes there, its not my house. So, i go and look for an extra pair of underwear i brought with me and reluctantly throw it at the bum. He slides them on. Out back his clothes are strewn about. So, he arrived with clothes, but took them all off before he entered the house....makes sense. I turn around for a second, turn back and they are dragging him outside of the house and onto the street where the bum scurries away. The police shrug their shoulders and drive off. The bum lives to see another day. Still confused as to how he got in, must have been through the back door.
I go back to my house to sleep because i don't want him to break in again, lol. I arrive the next afternoon to check on things and i see the same bum! sitting in front of another house hugging his knees.....wearing my green boxer-briefs....True story.
Its moments like this when i realize i gotta get outa here haha.

Outside of that, my brother just left to go back home. He spent the past few days with me at my site. It was pretty cool. It started poorly as i threw up all over the bathroom after our first dinner. I proceed to live out the will of the hybrid flu/parasite inside me for the next 4 days. We were not able to do a lot of the stuff we wanted to but we made the best of things. We played stick ball in my community, basketball, dominoes, met neighbors had coffee, soda, saw some water filters, visited the poor community next to mine, participated in my class graduation, ordered room service at a hotel, went to the movies, met a bunch of volunteers, enjoyed a hot shower, enjoyed a cold shower, among many other things. I think he still enjoyed his trip even though we didn't make it to the beach. I could not retain anything i ingested, so it made things a little tricky. It was really nice to have him here, and share this experience with him.
We spent the New Year up at the Monument in Santiago with Francisco. The firework show is known around the country as one of the coolest things to see on new years.....the clock strikes midnight.......pppppssssssuuuuuuuuuu........pop.......done. One firecracker. Literally. It. So dissapointing. Luckily its good for one hardy chuckle. Since there is a one hour time difference, we were able to get back to the hotel and watch the ball drop in times square(on tv). Double the celebration.

Well that is about all the hoopla here. Now im at the Marriot in Santo Domingo enjoying my last relaxing evening until i go back to the craziness! I will post pictures later.

Adios!

1 comment:

  1. I would write a bunch of witty remarks about how freaking hilarious this is--in a creepy kind of way--but I'm laughing too hard to think witty or think at all. Wow!

    ReplyDelete